My recent visit to Godz Own Country-Part 5(Concluding Part)

Dunno how these days passed so quickly. I always felt de best days were those in which I waited for de moment to start to home, it was so much of fun to count de remaining days.Now I am in home preparing to return.A sad feeling creeps upto heart, oh cant I have few more days.On my way home in train i thought thru this route i will pass again but with a heavy heart..those places which made me happy once will become a burden on de way bak. Am I leaving my home.More than my home I leaving behind a feeling, a feeling even if I try to carry over there will be of no use.. But one thing, whatever i left here i am sure i will retain them de moment I come again.So my waiting starts again dunno how long I have to wait, but i will be bak here one day, after all everybody lives in a hope, I am leaving today with a hope of returning in my heart. Today I definitely have to carry on de hangover, have to break all my rules once again.. have to get accoumsted to other set of rules tht doesnt have a part of mine in them.

Eventhough a lot of people were there @ de station but I felt a silence in each face. Everybody was just waiting for de train to come, as if they just want to run away. I also felt the same pain, why people luk different on their way bak? why they luk sad? dont they know u have to leave to get bak later, u have to part to meet later.I came alone as I cant see people waving me gudbye. This is lesson of life, de things or persons u luv de most are kept away so tht u miss them every moment to let u know how u r incomplete without them. I believe I learned tht lesson. Here it comes, de train which brought me is now here to take me bak. I think i hate this train now more than ever, this is de same train which gave me a lot of moments to cherish, now it is here to change those moments to memories. I hate it, no I am loving it for presenting me such a wonderful boquet of memories.

I got a window seat. Do I need this seat? What will I stare @ now?Can I see things de same way? No was de answer to all de questions tht rose in my mind. But I gathered de strength to luk around, dunno when i will see these places again. AC was so chilling, de coach attendant gave me a pillow and a blanket. I thought of covering my face with it, so that i dont have to see anything. What a rubbish idea? I opened my kit, took out my Selected Editions buk and turned over to page number 91. It was a story of a broker who was involved in a big scandal. I no longer felt it interesting anymore. Closed it even before completing a page. My mind was restless. I wished I had brought my sleeping pills, checked my baggage once again but tht was to in vain.

I thought "Cant i get a gud job in here somewhere?". After 2 years father will return to settle down here. Cant I be with my family then? He had left Kerala @ de age of 17, to serve military, he have given 36 years of his life for his job without any complaints, why am i complaining then?. His job is a dangerous one, encounters, life threatening attacks, he overcame all those, still he thinks what he will do when he retires? What a commitment? Why shud i be left behind in that? And slowly I get engaged in my work mentally, coz day after tomoro I have to get involved in new assignments. Need to format my mind kepping a backup of all de memories to cherish later thinking about those moments. Now I felt a bit easier n relieved. Leaned out door once again to feel the air...A travel to write about was about to finish in a matter of few hours..needed to pen down this feeling.. tried to put my heart out in this, but still ther's a lot of left to convey..may be sometime later..may be during my next travel...